Manipulating usually flirtatiously yet without doing any actual sexual acts in order to get what you want.

AKA: ‘Hoeing without using your holes’
Just send a pretty girl to go scoop up that check. He won’t tell her no...
#mental masturbation
by FreakyFelonFriday February 06, 2021
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The act of imagining unreal or false things and taking them as true, and / or deliberately interpreting a fact, or acting in a wrong way, to evade a reality, boost your ego or twist a situation to your convenience.
"That girl think I like her because i invited her to my party, that's pure mental masturbation"
by Falcon64 April 30, 2018
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How to do intellectual masturbation:
1. Idolize theory, even though reality doesn't necessary go along with the theory
2. Find people who are agreed with your point of view (groupthink, filter bubble, echo chamber), and shut down any competing point of view
3. Nurture a superiority complex, that you're an Übermensch, you're far more intellectual than 99.9999999999…% hoo-mans around the world, and dwell inside your ivory tower instead of helping people out from their problems
4. Use any unnecessary words, terms, jargons, acronyms, backronyms, or any language styles that makes you sound intellectual (even though nobody asked)
5. Interrupt and change any discussion topic to become something intellectual when nobody asked
6. Justify unnecessary paywall for accessing knowledge
7. Put other's feet on your own shoes (a.k.a give them unsolicited advices based on your understanding and experiences, ignoring other's experiences)
8. Read any books that makes you look intellectual, even though you don't understand what do you read, and quote it every time you discussing, even though you don't know what are you talking about
by Sir. B April 09, 2021
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International masturbation day is on the 4th of november and it is when you and a friend from the opposite sex both masturbate at the same time and talk dirty over the phone to make each other cum and the winner gets sucked off by the other
Girl: it's international masturbation day
Boy: what does that mean?
Girl: we masturbate to make each other cum, winner gets to get sucked off by the other
by Strip4me123 November 04, 2019
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International street masturbation day is placed thr nineteenth of April and you are legally allowed to masturbatr in the street with no consequences.
Person 1: *masturbates in the street*
Person 2: what the fuck are you doing?
Person 1: dude it's International Street Masturbation Day.
Person 2: oh okay. *Masturbates*
by DeliciousAtol April 19, 2018
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The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.
Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.
by MegaP143 May 27, 2017
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