This wine is tighter than a nun's asshole.
a nun is a woman who dedicates her life to the Catholic religion and marries Jesus, but is not allowed to love a man in real life, so people think nuns are very strict, unhappy, and tense. Tense people are sometimes constipated, meaning unable to defecate, or their asshole is blocked with something.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak