When you have to shit so bad that you start crapping before your cheeks actually make contact with the toilet seat. Usually involves a running start with pants down.
Dude, i payed the price for eating all those burritos last night. I just barely pulled off an emergency landing when i got home.
by phattypatty_33 September 13, 2009
An imaginary land of idleness, luxury, ease and plenty.
Where physical comforts and pleasures are always immediately at hand and where the harshness of medieval peasant life does not exist.
Where physical comforts and pleasures are always immediately at hand and where the harshness of medieval peasant life does not exist.
Like Atlantis and El Dorado, the land of Cokayne was a fictional utopia, a place where, in a parody of paradise, idleness and gluttony were the principal occupations. In Specimens of Early English Poets (1790), George Ellis printed a 13th century French poem called "The Land of Cokaigne" where
the houses were made of barley sugar and cakes, the streets were paved with pastry, and the shops supplied goods for nothing.
According to Herman Pleij,Dreaming of Cokaigne: Medieval Fantasies of the Perfect Life (2001):
roasted pigs wander about with knives in their backs to make carving easy, where grilled geese fly directly into one's mouth, where cooked fish jump out of the water and land at one's feet. The weather is always mild, the wine flows freely, sex is readily available, and all people enjoy eternal youth.
Cokaigne was a "medieval peasant’s dream, offering relief from backbreaking labor and the daily struggle for meager food."
The Brothers Grimm collected and retold the fairy tale in Das Märchen vom Schlaraffenland (The Tale About the Land of Cokayne).
In the 1820s, the name Cokaigne came to be applied jocularly to London, as the land of Cockneys, and thus "Cokaigne", though the two are not linguistically connected otherwise. The composer Edward Elgar used the title "Cokaigne" for his concert overture and suite evoking the people of London, Cokaigne (In London Town) (1901)
the houses were made of barley sugar and cakes, the streets were paved with pastry, and the shops supplied goods for nothing.
According to Herman Pleij,Dreaming of Cokaigne: Medieval Fantasies of the Perfect Life (2001):
roasted pigs wander about with knives in their backs to make carving easy, where grilled geese fly directly into one's mouth, where cooked fish jump out of the water and land at one's feet. The weather is always mild, the wine flows freely, sex is readily available, and all people enjoy eternal youth.
Cokaigne was a "medieval peasant’s dream, offering relief from backbreaking labor and the daily struggle for meager food."
The Brothers Grimm collected and retold the fairy tale in Das Märchen vom Schlaraffenland (The Tale About the Land of Cokayne).
In the 1820s, the name Cokaigne came to be applied jocularly to London, as the land of Cockneys, and thus "Cokaigne", though the two are not linguistically connected otherwise. The composer Edward Elgar used the title "Cokaigne" for his concert overture and suite evoking the people of London, Cokaigne (In London Town) (1901)
by Heike Makatsch October 21, 2009
A layer of toilet paper (usually somewhere between 3 and 8 pieces) laid down on the surface of water within the toilet bowl before one has a bowel movement. This layer of toilet paper, or ‘landing pad’, serves a 3-fold purpose: (1) To prevent the dreaded splashback effect caused by the fecal displacement of water; (2) To soften the “KER-PLUNK!” sound that often occurs when feces breaks the surface tension of the water (this is particularly effective because the toilet paper disables the properties of water’s surface tension by acting as a semi-permeable membrane, a sort of dampening medium between water and air; further, the speed of the displacement of the water is lessened, which makes for a much softer noise); and (3) To bring about an awareness of the TP supply before use, negating any chance that one might have a bowel movement, only to look over and notice that there is no toilet paper.
Johnny: "Dude, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time last night. Halfway through the night I realised that I needed to take a massive dump, which was uncomfortable because the bathroom was next to the living room where they were sitting, and the house was dead quiet"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
Billy: "No way, man... what did you do?"
Johnny: "I built a wicked landing pad, so not only did they not hear me, but I was also able to stay as dry as a cracker for the whole experience. What a night it was!"
by JPaps January 07, 2011
The magical scenario when you wake up still highly intoxicated and or high from the night before. Neither your hangover nor the shame from last night's poor decisions have set in, and continuing to day drink seems like the best decision. Effects: extreme happiness, laughter, loss of balance
"Bonus land is my favorite land." "I hope this next shot takes me to Bonus Land and not in a stranger's bed tomorrow morning."
by mcpistachio January 20, 2012
If you pull out after anal sex and a huge shit log follows your penis and lands on the bed, the way a big fish would flop onto the floor of a boat after it's pulled out of the water, congratulations...you've landed a marlin!
by B. H. McNultey December 05, 2007
An imaginary place where children go when they don't want to grow up.
Not to be confused with NeverLand, which is located at Michael Jackson's place.
Not to be confused with NeverLand, which is located at Michael Jackson's place.
by Rodney Basil May 20, 2004
when corrupt politicians abuse eminent domain powers to seize property for greedy corporate developers
Back in the late 80's George W Bush was part owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team. He used his dads political connections to land-jack several properties and build a new ballpark all at tax-payer expense. Bush made about $15 million dollars in profit from this.
by Michael_Hunt June 14, 2008