"No johns" means that you can't make excuses. It is the perfect counter argument to anyone who is making any type of excuse whatever. When someone makes excuses or tries to make excuses, they are "johning". If this occurs, tell them "NO JOHHNZZ".
Me: "Dude, I just 4 stocked your Marth with my Pikachu.
n00b: "Yeah, but Marth isn't my main character."
Me (as well as crowd): "NO JOHHNZZ SON"
n00b: "Yeah, but Marth isn't my main character."
Me (as well as crowd): "NO JOHHNZZ SON"
by Cary Abrell (Ruler_OF_Melee) May 25, 2005
A euphemism for "taking a shit" or "in the process of excreting fecal matter out of one's anus." John is a synonym for toilet.
FBI agent: "We have reason to believe there is an imminent terrorist threat on American soil. We need the assistance of special agent Jack Bauer immediately."
Tony: "Sorry, he's on the john right now. Try again in 10-15 minutes."
(from bathroom) ***PFFFT! PFFFFFFFFFT! EEEEUUUUGH! PLOP!***
FBI agent: "Oh man that doesn't sound good at all."
Tony: "Yeah, he had a super carnitas burrito with extra beans and hot sauce for lunch."
FBI agent: "Well that explains it.....Hey, wait a minute! This is 24. Nobody ever goes to the bathroom on this show. Or eats, sleeps, or showers for that matter. It would hurt our ratings if we showed such mundane daily activities."
Tony: "Hey, when you've gotta go you've gotta go."
Tony: "Sorry, he's on the john right now. Try again in 10-15 minutes."
(from bathroom) ***PFFFT! PFFFFFFFFFT! EEEEUUUUGH! PLOP!***
FBI agent: "Oh man that doesn't sound good at all."
Tony: "Yeah, he had a super carnitas burrito with extra beans and hot sauce for lunch."
FBI agent: "Well that explains it.....Hey, wait a minute! This is 24. Nobody ever goes to the bathroom on this show. Or eats, sleeps, or showers for that matter. It would hurt our ratings if we showed such mundane daily activities."
Tony: "Hey, when you've gotta go you've gotta go."
by Nicholas D March 20, 2009
by Rbs January 27, 2005
Shy at first, it may take a little while for a John to adjust to a new situation or person. Regardless, his personality naturally draws others to himself. Cocky half grin plastered on his face, a Naruto manga in hand, sitting back, completely chill, his relaxed state is almost contagious. He's happiest on a basketball court, listening to rad music, or just watching an intense thunderstorm. His smile causes butterflies to be born in a certain tummy. A John has a good heart, and stands firm on what he knows to be true. But be warned: his heart and trust have been broken in the past, leaving him a bit vulnerable. Don't ever lie to a John, or you'll deeply regret it.
Dude. He likes Bring Me the Horizon, You Me At Six, Escape the Fate, and Blessthefall? He's TOTALLY a John.
by HelloIloveYouJohnM July 01, 2011
by Johned it October 04, 2019