An IT Contractor is a person that gets paid huge amounts of money for doing nothing at all. The IT Contractor first came into its own in 1999 when the world was conned into thinking all computers would crash at midnight , news years day 2000. This was the biggest scam of all time and has for ever since been a legend in IT Contracting circles.

Contractors can be seen most, if not all evenings, occupying large tables in Bars / Pubs and talking about how good Linux is and how end users are thick cunts.

See also Lazy Cunt , Idle , Scammer , Useless Tossers , Booze, Alcoholic
Help my company has too much money, we need to employ an IT Contractor.
by Terry T November 29, 2006
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Someone who doesn't have the skills or talent to hold down a permanent job. They are inherently lazy and sneaky.
Gareth and Simeon are contractors because they can't get real jobs.
by napa2004 March 11, 2005
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When you ejaculate inside of a female, and cement the cunt shut.
-Why is Raychel bleeding out of her pussy?
-Danny tried the contractor on her.
by smdbitch July 27, 2017
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What Kid Rock drives after being arrested for beating up Tommy Lee.
Kid Rock got released from the police station, jumped on his contractor, and sped off into the countryside.
by LeotheMan January 29, 2009
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Faggy asian kids who believe they have the ability to kill someone without guilt.
Kid: "I no longer have any qualms about kill you, for I am a contractor"
Me: "Shut the FUCK up"
by IchigoXDark January 19, 2010
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It’s an act of ugly sex where the male partner has gotten so fat and out of shape that his performance in bed is disastrous, painful, smelly and no fun for anyone. The Angry Contractor doesn’t realize this though because to him, he’s been doing it the same way for 50 years so there’s no reason to change a thing. As the Angry Contractor kicks off his smelly work boots and drops his overhauls and underwear to his knees the smell of hot turtle tank fills the room. The Angry Contractor is sure of himself and confident he’s the best one for the job. In fact, he’s the only one qualified to do a job like this. He’s made sure of it by lurking in public bathrooms with his angle finder and tape measure sizing everyone else’s penis and comparing them to his own. If anyone is larger than 2 inches long and 2 inches wide he goes to the bars and gas stations running his mouth and talking down anyone he’d be afraid to compete with. When the Angry Contractor is done taking someone to pound town, the bedroom is so fucked up and the smell is so vile that the homeowner needs to get a new insurance estimate for all the damage. The Angry Contractor knows this and calls it “job security”.
Husband: What the fuck happened to our bedroom? Why is our bed busted and why does it stink like a construction workers gooch in here?
Wife: “I had to call the only Construction business in town to come over and give us an estimate on a new window but he gave me The Angry Contractor instead.

Husband: Did he fuck you in the ass too?

Wife: Judging by all the damage and the new bill, I’d say he fucked us both in the ass.
by TwiztedSnowman December 21, 2020
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