How to perform “The William Wallace”

Step 1: Buy a hooker
Step 2: Feed her a burrito
Step 3: Engage the hooker in conversation, allowing the burrito to digest
Step 4: Engage in an act of anal fisting with the hooker, with her being on the receiving end
Step 5: Reach deep and grab a handful of excrement
Step 6: Paint your face with the excrement in a manner similar to Mel Gibson’s in “Braveheart”
Step 7: Ride the hooker like a steed while yelling “freedom”.

Congratulations, you now know how to perform “The William Wallace”

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods