A "newspaper", published once or twice a week, mailed out 30 or 40 at a time to each and every single resident unlucky enough to be living within a 25 mile radius of the 98038 area code, containing 4 month old news, an editorial from some old guy who thinks he knows what's the best way to handle current events yet is obviously not playing with a full deck of card, feature articles about someone's missing cow or which goat won best in show at the local hee-haw fair, and 90% advertising.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods