A mediocre personality, sets a poor example as a friend, widely regarded as a horrible person, an inadequate lover and definitely on the outer as a loved family member.

Rarely will you find someone who likes the cut of this mans jib.

Last seen taking stock of himself.

Prior to that, last seen taking a good hard look at himself. It's likely that he was the person who last saw himself, whilst taking a look at himself. Because that makes sense.

NB: Occasionally a good bloke but barely deserves a mention. In the interest of being balanced, he has excellent taste in choosing groomsmen for his wedding.
"Gee, I hope The Tampon comes out of retirement next season"

"Ha! Did you hear The Tampon injured himself again?"

"The tampon is not a good friend but I now feel obligated to keep him around"
by Betterthanyou2012 December 13, 2012
A cotton tube with a string attached used to stick in a woman's vagina while she is on her period to absorb the blood and keep it from leaking out.
Chad : So I assume you were with Kiersten again last night since you two were late for work?
Jake : It was fucking amazing first I ripped her panties off then I pulled her Tampon out with my teeth and licked her pussy like an ice cream cone after that she sucked my cock for about 30 minuntes and got me good and hard finally she hopped on the saddle and rode my cock the rest of the night which made me cum like crazy!
Chad : God Damn dude to much information!
Jake : It was like A volcano erupting when all her period blood came squirting out!
Chad : I SAID TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!
Jake : I'm surprised she can even walk today as deep as I had my cock was in her pussy!
Chad : SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW!
by SlopNChop June 8, 2017
A tampon is a feminine product people use when they are on their period. To insert you simply open up your legs and stick it up your vagina. It will absorb all of the period blood inside your privates and voila, you don't have to wear a diaper or a pad. Girls and women find these very helpful when they pms. It does the job without showing a 'bulge' or making it obvious you are wearing a pad. They are very discreet.
Tampons can be found in almost any grocery store/ pharmacy. Popular brands of tampons are kotex and tampax. Just make sure that it stays hidden beneath your clothing or bathing suit.
1. Guy: Hey girl, you got a loose string on your bikini bottom. Let me get it for you.
Girl: No you creep that's my tampon string!

2. Girl: Ugh, I have to wear sweatpants so my pad is not obvious!
Friend: No you don't. Here's a tampon, nobody will see it
by itsmeeeeeeeee May 9, 2014
A compacted tubular-shaped piece of cotton with a plastic applicator that women and emo boys insert into their vaginas when they're having their period.
The XhardxcoreX emo boy shoved a heavy flow tampon up his ass before going to school.
by bryan18 August 16, 2005
Kryptonite for male species, especially when asked to purchase said item.
by Kyle November 3, 2003
Being in the best place at the worst possible time.
My friend went to an awesome strip club, but he had a girlfriend. He was pretty tamponed...
by shocksystem April 29, 2011
You put them in your nose to stop the bleeding
Guy one: My nose is bleeding
Girl 1:*gives tampon*
Guy one: uhh
Girl 1: youll need it
by alessmax May 17, 2011