Buzzed Independent: "Trust me, those girls look hot together, but it's just the sorority girl effect. The one on the left is fat, the second bleached the shit out of her hair, the third has blown ever guy hear already, and the one on the right has the biggest fake bake of all time."

Plastered Fraternity Brother: "They're so haaawt, Imma get it in the ham wallet tonight"

Buzzed Independent: "...and they're all wearing north face jackets"

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz