A colloquial term referring to the hotel chain commonly known as the ‘Comfort Inn.’ The first guesthouse under that name was a Brothel operating in Pittsburg in 1924, known for being simultaneously classy and, at times, filthy – the original hotel’s sign on Main Street actually read ‘Cum Fort Inn’. Unconfirmed Reports of contracting syphilis from the bar stools in the lobby were common, and the rooms were obviously no better. So today The Cum Fort Inn continues the tradition of superficially clean cesspools of human bodily fluid disguised as discount hotel rooms. The Cum Fort Inn remains an American institution, lovingly nicknamed by its many fans ‘the Semen den.’

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods