by dick hertz from holden February 10, 2006
A person who perceives him/herself as a savvy sailor and seafarer when in reality they have very little knowledge of the water. Mainly working for little to no pay pulling lines on big remakes of historic sailing vessels for the pleasure of tourists.
Enjoy Tom Waits, carharts, rum, and anchor tattoos- and do not seem to understand that being called a “Schooner Bum” is indeed an insult and implies your inability to get a real job.
Enjoy Tom Waits, carharts, rum, and anchor tattoos- and do not seem to understand that being called a “Schooner Bum” is indeed an insult and implies your inability to get a real job.
Joe - "why is that girl wearing flannel and work pants and challenging all of us to arm wrestle her?"
Dave - "Because Joe, she's a schooner bum."
Dave - "Because Joe, she's a schooner bum."
by Place mat September 28, 2011
1) Noun. A small fishing boat docking out of Vietnam. Typical crew of less than 10. Mainly used in a fishing fleet or as a single family's source of income/sustenance.
2) Noun. One of the most vile sexual acts conceivable. Uniquely available only to one who's penis abruptly curves at a right angle. The male stands with his torso facing perpendicular to his companion. The receiver grabs their own ankles for support as the aggressor penetrates from the unlikely angle. Theories are abundant but the generally accepted hypothesis is that the unique vibrations created during intercourse at such an angle triggers complete and utter bowel evacuation. In any case, the Vietnamese Schooner results in egregious amounts of feces 100% of the time.
NOTE:
Interestingly, it is possible to perform a Vietnamese Schooner aboard a Vietnamese Schooner. This has only been attempted twice, both times in international waters. All participants were killed instantly upon climax. The crew, captain, and refugee family stowing away in the cargo hold all died within a week showing symptoms similar to those exposed to class three radiation incorporation.
2) Noun. One of the most vile sexual acts conceivable. Uniquely available only to one who's penis abruptly curves at a right angle. The male stands with his torso facing perpendicular to his companion. The receiver grabs their own ankles for support as the aggressor penetrates from the unlikely angle. Theories are abundant but the generally accepted hypothesis is that the unique vibrations created during intercourse at such an angle triggers complete and utter bowel evacuation. In any case, the Vietnamese Schooner results in egregious amounts of feces 100% of the time.
NOTE:
Interestingly, it is possible to perform a Vietnamese Schooner aboard a Vietnamese Schooner. This has only been attempted twice, both times in international waters. All participants were killed instantly upon climax. The crew, captain, and refugee family stowing away in the cargo hold all died within a week showing symptoms similar to those exposed to class three radiation incorporation.
1) Eric really enjoyed his semester abroad in Vietnam, he learned a lot helping his host family aboard their Vietnamese schooner.
2) While abroad, Eric had a really shitty time after he consummated with a Vietnamese prostitute whom recommended they try a Vietnamese Schooner after she saw the angle of his dangle.
2) While abroad, Eric had a really shitty time after he consummated with a Vietnamese prostitute whom recommended they try a Vietnamese Schooner after she saw the angle of his dangle.
by Right-angle Rick May 4, 2013
A small object one places in the toilet after taking a shit that can sail around the poop and poopie water. Pooper Schooners can be made out of generally anything, usually things that are disposable and able to be flushed.
Always wash your hands if you want to keep your Pooper Schooner.
Always wash your hands if you want to keep your Pooper Schooner.
Mike: "Hey Richard, what are you doing with your toilet?"
Richard: "I'm playing with my Pooper Schooner, dude! Watch it go around my poop!"
Mike: ಠ__ಠ
Richard: "I'm playing with my Pooper Schooner, dude! Watch it go around my poop!"
Mike: ಠ__ಠ
by The Fourth Kind June 9, 2012
The defining schooner of the drinking session. The tipping point. A magic number somewhere in between tipsy and shitfaced, the asshole resides.
Mitch: Geez have a go at old mate over there, he's pissing in a potplant
Watson: Yeah he was already up to schooner number asshole before happy hour was over
Chowny: Is that Greg Matthews?
Watson: Nah, he only drinks Snakebites or slops
Watson: Yeah he was already up to schooner number asshole before happy hour was over
Chowny: Is that Greg Matthews?
Watson: Nah, he only drinks Snakebites or slops
by Albert Dickfos January 25, 2020
by user12369420 February 4, 2021
The Schooner
While in a hot tub the male pulls his shirt up onto his head like a sail while rocking his penis through his girls ass cheeks. During the act the woman must repeat aye aye Captain.
While in a hot tub the male pulls his shirt up onto his head like a sail while rocking his penis through his girls ass cheeks. During the act the woman must repeat aye aye Captain.
by BellsBeach50 May 7, 2019