Quite possibly the biggest wang on the planet, so large that it makes virgins bleed when they see it. Rarely seen, it is worshipped by the Bukkake Tribe of southern Madagascar.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.