Top definition
The rules of Texas are a simple, yet unwavering creed held up by anybody who wishes to call themselves an inhabitant of this blessed state.
1. Always go 10 or more above the speed limit.
2. If you ever find yourself in such an unsultry place as dallas (or the “keep Austin weird” parts of Austin) make no eye contact and keep on driving.
3. Whataburger and Dr. Pepper are supreme. Do not question it, and most of all don’t disagree with it.
4. Oklahoma and Texas sure do hate each other, but it’s like a brotherly hate.
5. Both california (I refuse to capitalize the c) and Texas sure do hate each other. This isn’t brotherly. californians, (I refuse to capitalize the c) unless escaping and seeking asylum, should be shot on sight.
6. When flying a Texas flag, make sure to raise it to the same height as the American flag.
7. Never forget that Texas was once it’s own country.
8. Texas is the only place more American than America.
9. Every Texan has the God-given right and ability to shoot a gun.
10. Don’t mess with Texas.
Failure to recognize and comply with these rules will result in severe consequences and punishment, included but not limited to: revoking of your Whataburger privileges, revoking of your Dr. Pepper privileges, or exile to california (I refuse to capitalize the c)
1. Always go 10 or more above the speed limit.
2. If you ever find yourself in such an unsultry place as dallas (or the “keep Austin weird” parts of Austin) make no eye contact and keep on driving.
3. Whataburger and Dr. Pepper are supreme. Do not question it, and most of all don’t disagree with it.
4. Oklahoma and Texas sure do hate each other, but it’s like a brotherly hate.
5. Both california (I refuse to capitalize the c) and Texas sure do hate each other. This isn’t brotherly. californians, (I refuse to capitalize the c) unless escaping and seeking asylum, should be shot on sight.
6. When flying a Texas flag, make sure to raise it to the same height as the American flag.
7. Never forget that Texas was once it’s own country.
8. Texas is the only place more American than America.
9. Every Texan has the God-given right and ability to shoot a gun.
10. Don’t mess with Texas.
Failure to recognize and comply with these rules will result in severe consequences and punishment, included but not limited to: revoking of your Whataburger privileges, revoking of your Dr. Pepper privileges, or exile to california (I refuse to capitalize the c)
Person A: man I just visited Texas, what an awful place.
Person B: Apologize. Now. You commie piece of shit.
Person A: why is there a massive crowd trying to murder me?
Person B: you obviously deserve it, you don’t follow The Rules of Texas
Person B: Apologize. Now. You commie piece of shit.
Person A: why is there a massive crowd trying to murder me?
Person B: you obviously deserve it, you don’t follow The Rules of Texas
by Wootermaloon February 23, 2021
Jul 15 Word of the Day
The safeguarding of Earth and other worlds from biological cross-contamination (i.e. billionaires with too much time on their hands).
Also known as “planetary protection.” Planetary protection / quarantine “reflects both the unknown nature of the space environment and the desire of the scientific community to preserve the pristine nature of celestial bodies until they can be studied in detail.”
There are two types of interplanetary contamination. Forward contamination is the transfer of viable organisms from Earth to another celestial body. Back contamination is the transfer of extraterrestrial organisms, if such exist, back to the Earth's biosphere.
Also known as “planetary protection.” Planetary protection / quarantine “reflects both the unknown nature of the space environment and the desire of the scientific community to preserve the pristine nature of celestial bodies until they can be studied in detail.”
There are two types of interplanetary contamination. Forward contamination is the transfer of viable organisms from Earth to another celestial body. Back contamination is the transfer of extraterrestrial organisms, if such exist, back to the Earth's biosphere.
Billionaires are having a dick swinging space race while the earth experiences record breaking heatwaves that cause sea creatures to literally cook inside their shells. We need planetary quarantine.
by monkeylabor July 14, 2021