No one knows the orgin of this reclusive super-hero. Her super-power is an elevated form of dyslexia which she uses to solve crimes and root out evil.
Her faithful sidekick The Spack assists her as well as he is able despite being severly mentally retarded. His only solice is an incredible talent for playing the great highland bagpipes.
The Hawthornator's fatal weakness is an aversion to playing pool and a hatred of all things pool related.
The Hawthornator's arch-nemesis is her brother Buzz. A rapist by proffesion spending his nights prowling the street of Glenelg.
She is also cursed with the sheep-rapist and World of Warcraft addict Eachann as a brother.

the thing that you don’t have when you’re phones percentage is over 20