ABSOLUTE egotistical and vainglorious piece of cod with a completely indolent attitude towards EVERYTHING. In his clueless nature he will inevitably fail to see BOTH sides of the story, and only cares to talk about his own point of view. This lying moron will throw ambiguous language at you with enigmatic tones and manipulative lines. Ewan's relentless ability to neglect, mistreat and disrespect you will shock you right off your high horse and make you question your own significance. Do not even get me started on his tendency to wallow in self pity as he will repeatedly blame his disloyal and unfaithful behaviour on everyone but himself.
Ewan is definitely afraid of spiders and clowns so prepare yourself for an eternity of cowardly behaviour.
The Ewan
Friend:"Omg he kept his eyes open when he kissed me"
me: "Oh, so hes called Ewan?"
Friend:" How did you guess????!!!!!"
by ilovetoseeyousmile May 21, 2021
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The actual god of the entire universe, his big dick energy emanates throughout the universe destroying all living and non living beings..
he is the one

true

Chad
boy: oh my fucking god get down Ewans here

girl: its too late

*fizzles out of existence*
by literately god in a shell October 15, 2018
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Ewan is probably the silliest person ever. He gets all of the ladies and makes bank, mainly through his silliness. Ewan can make a lady fall for him just by saying "Hi." He is totally smart and a boss at sports. Ewan wheels the biddies even if he isn't trying.
Ewan: "Hey."

Girl: "OMG Ewan just said hey to me he is so silly and a total babe."

Guy 1: "Look at that guy he's awesome."

Guy 2: "Yeah that's Ewan."

Guy 1: "Oh well that makes sense."
by Jack Gore October 09, 2013
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this amazing guy that EVERYONE else is jealous of
shit he's awesome, he must be Ewan

Ewan: Hey
Stranger: *omg Ewan just said hello*
by sn0wflake December 25, 2012
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A complete fuckin genius with the biggest cock in the world. A man who makes the ladies week at the knees. Everyone wants to be him.
Woman: Oh Ewan your so fuckin great pound my mound with your huge cock.
Ewan: Shut up bitch! I'm gonna slam your back door out, whip it out and give you a creamy beaver, then stick it in your mouth so you can clean off your own shit!!
Woman: Oh good tanks!!!
by FMFlex April 13, 2005
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The fucking man, Ewan is suck a fucking cunt that if you tackle him he'll get backup and give you a fucking handshake. His muscles are so fucking sexy that even men drool at the sight of them. Any woman that sees him will rip his pants of and suck his humongous penis. Ewan is also extremely powerful, and if he so mach as breathes on you your bones will shatter. Bacically Ewan is a fucking titan. And will fuck up anyone that threatans him. However Ewan is actualy a nice guy
Bob: Oh shit here comes Ewan
Mike: Has he got 2 woman on his shoulders?
Bob: Should we ask him to get us girlfriends?
Mike: Hell yeah!
Bob: *asks*
Ewan: *leaves and comes back with 10 woman* take your pick!
Also Ewan: Throws a basketball around the entire world and gets a three pointer.
by SpoopyDonut711 November 04, 2019
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