14
An ingenious scam developed by book salesmen in 0BC
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
1.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
by Kellan Fisher June 29, 2009
15
The Bible comes in handy when you have run out of
a.) Toilet paper
b.) Kindling
c.) Spitball ammunition
d.) Coffee filters
e.) Paper towels
f.) Diapers
g.) Maxi pads
h.) A surface from which to snort your cocaine
...Among other things.
a.) Toilet paper
b.) Kindling
c.) Spitball ammunition
d.) Coffee filters
e.) Paper towels
f.) Diapers
g.) Maxi pads
h.) A surface from which to snort your cocaine
...Among other things.
by Rev_elation April 03, 2008
16
If you want to see the biggest pile of horse shit in the universe, then read the bible. It`s so full of lies and absolute BULLSHIT that you begin to question why so many people have been infected by the disease that is christianity. The bible says you can`t masturbate, that`s bullshit! The bible says you can`t swear, that`s bullshit too. The bible says you can`t be gay, that`s even bigger bullshit!
Don`t read the bible because the bible is shit
Don`t read the bible because the bible is shit
Jack: You should read the bible
Fred: You expect me to buy into that fucking shit?
Jack: It`s not shit, it`s what god wanted the world to be
Fred: well your god can suck my dick
Fred: You expect me to buy into that fucking shit?
Jack: It`s not shit, it`s what god wanted the world to be
Fred: well your god can suck my dick
by JustAnotherSickFuckOnUrbanDic November 26, 2020
17
the bible is violent as fuck, if the bible were a movie and god wasn't willing to make any cuts the mpaa would deem it violent enough to get an nc-17 rating, the bible would only play in certain art house theaters and only gross a small amount of money, upon the bibles release on dvd the bible would not be available at walmart, best buy, blockbuster and many other retailers, the bible would not be shown on cable often. the bible would soon be forgotten about as most nc-17 rated films are.
the bible is also the best selling book ever made. it contains more sex and violence then any book ever written. people known as catholics want for you to read this graphicly violent and sexually explicit account of supposed real life events so badly, that they will give you a copy for free at any church.
the bible is also the best selling book ever made. it contains more sex and violence then any book ever written. people known as catholics want for you to read this graphicly violent and sexually explicit account of supposed real life events so badly, that they will give you a copy for free at any church.
by online handle August 29, 2006
19
The most bullshit fairytale ever that a bunch of people still believe in. (spoiler alert, jesus dies)
by Biblebasher69 January 03, 2011
20
1. The world's best selling book. This book is a fictional story with various authors. It's protagonist is named 'God'.
2. A fictional book used as 'proof' in arguments.
3. A book prejudice against Homosexual people.
4. A recipe for war and manual for acceptable murder.
5. The biggest lie in human history.
2. A fictional book used as 'proof' in arguments.
3. A book prejudice against Homosexual people.
4. A recipe for war and manual for acceptable murder.
5. The biggest lie in human history.
Theist: The bible has all the answers.
Atheist: oh, yeah? Who created 'God'?
Theist: No one did. He always existed.
Atheist: Yeah? Now you call yourself smart, right?
Theist: yeah.
Atheist: Okay, you believe that there's an imaginary man living in the sky. That the man can see everything that you're doing every second of your life.
Theist: ...
Atheist: This 'God' loves everyone but is as forgiving as he is cruel. He forgives rapists and murderers but will never forgive homosexuals. This is pure s***.
Atheist: oh, yeah? Who created 'God'?
Theist: No one did. He always existed.
Atheist: Yeah? Now you call yourself smart, right?
Theist: yeah.
Atheist: Okay, you believe that there's an imaginary man living in the sky. That the man can see everything that you're doing every second of your life.
Theist: ...
Atheist: This 'God' loves everyone but is as forgiving as he is cruel. He forgives rapists and murderers but will never forgive homosexuals. This is pure s***.
by jfq June 16, 2008