It’s an act of ugly sex where the male partner has gotten so fat and out of shape that his performance in bed is disastrous, painful, smelly and no fun for anyone. The Angry Contractor doesn’t realize this though because to him, he’s been doing it the same way for 50 years so there’s no reason to change a thing. As the Angry Contractor kicks off his smelly work boots and drops his overhauls and underwear to his knees the smell of hot turtle tank fills the room. The Angry Contractor is sure of himself and confident he’s the best one for the job. In fact, he’s the only one qualified to do a job like this. He’s made sure of it by lurking in public bathrooms with his angle finder and tape measure sizing everyone else’s penis and comparing them to his own. If anyone is larger than 2 inches long and 2 inches wide he goes to the bars and gas stations running his mouth and talking down anyone he’d be afraid to compete with. When the Angry Contractor is done taking someone to pound town, the bedroom is so fucked up and the smell is so vile that the homeowner needs to get a new insurance estimate for all the damage. The Angry Contractor knows this and calls it “job security”.

A term used to reference cannabis/marijuana/weed.