Dave: Dude, I feel horrible.

Earl: Why?

Dave: I gave Carol a Texas Raincoat last night.

Earl: You're fucked up. I can't be your friend anymore. You're also fired.

Dave: What?! Why?! I've been working here for 7 years!

Earl: We can't have employees partaking in such crude activities as a Texas Raincoat. You violated your contract and we won't be issuing severance.

Dave: Fuck you, Earl! I thought you were my friend!

Earl: I'm sorry, Dave, but I can't speak to you anymore. Now would you like to leave the easy way or the hard way?

Dave: What's the hard way? Security roughs me up a bit?

Earl: No, that's the easy way, the hard way is I kick your ass myself.

Dave: Fuck you, Earl.

(Dave then trashes Earls office and jumps out the 46th story window)

*See also 'Texas Raincoats Ruin Friendships' and 'Texas Raincoats Ruin Lives'*

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak