girlfriend: i want me some of your testicular milk tonight

boyfriend: ...

girlfriend: what?

boyfriend: who even says that?

girlfriend: well i learned it on urbandictionry, and thought i should use it in a sentence today.

boyfriend: (thinks: "why am i dating this girl? oh, b/c she's a freak in bed... forgot for a second.")

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak