Tescoke:

The rather tangy version of popular brown cola available in a widely dispersed chain of supermarkets throughout the UK and Ireland. Whilst not a major competitor in the Pepsi challenge due to its harsh and unrelenting nature, Tescoke is still great value for money at a fraction of the cost of 'the real thing'.

Also, when there's Jack Daniels in it, who gives a f*ck!

A polite term for shoving a lubricated probe into the Earth's hole to release gas.