Top definition
Telejerk is a term to describe how an individual and their partner engage in an act romance when they have been quarantined from each other, due to a sickness or pandemic, but the male still has the urge/need to blow a hot volcanic load of jism.
Well it’s official, Austin has contracted the coronavirus and is quarantined from the outside world, including his girlfriend Katie. I asked him how he’s going to give her the Mac sauce, and he said since Katie is in the corporate world and used to teleworking, that She will allow Austin to Telejerk whenever he feels the need. I hope Katie knows what she’s in for, Austin can blow loads all day any day. This cheesedick Keith we works with is jealous!
by Tee Cee Deez March 15, 2020
May 27 Word of the Day
The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika May 30, 2006
2
Someone who works from home, and communicates exclusively by email. Often after-the-fact and the voice of dissent, they waste time with long email threads instead of meeting face-to-face, or at least on the phone.
Bob: Who's this butthead Ralph who keeps sending emails poo-pooing our ideas?
Jack: Oh, he's some telejerk Terry hired last year.
Jack: Oh, he's some telejerk Terry hired last year.
by TissPee July 01, 2008