Ted

A smoking high addict 24/7 but still lovable to those he trust. He does not give a fuck about anything and does whatever he wants.

Girl said, Someone set off the alarm!!
Girl 2 replied, It's Ted again.

by TeehMark309 February 2, 2018

teds

tits or boobs that are as big as human heads

Bob: "Damn dude jessica got some nice pair of teds."

James: "yeah man her boobs are as big as someone's head."

by noochpam205 October 26, 2009

TED

Acronym. Typical Enlisted Dude. A slang term used to classify the junior enlisted portion of the military. A total cliche. Probably only joined the military because they watch too many movies. TEDs can easily be identified by their motivated regulation haircuts, lack of fashion sense, dopey personality, mindless devotion to their particular branch of service, limited vocabulary, and arrogant sense of self worth. They usually serve a some small role in the military, which often involves carrying guns to work. Typical Officer Dudes are obviously TODs

1) Air Wing Marine: Man, what a rough week. We had to send 3 planes overseas.
Grunt: Stupid POG! Why not join the infantry like a real Marine!
Air Wing Marine: Because I got higher than a 30 on the ASVAB, TED

2) Marine 1: Dude, look at the high and tight on that tool.

Marine 2 Hey TED(yelling)!

Marine 1: holy shit he looked. What a tool.

by ThreeFiveTwo June 9, 2010

Teds

Abbreviations of Tooheys Extra Dry. One of the best beers for getting pissed on as a teenager/any age

Person A: Oi man I just us a carton of teds
Person B: Fucking well done man

by ShaunB92 January 9, 2009

Ted

A person who kills a joke by stating something obvious. Derivative of the scene from Family Guy where Ted Turner says 'Like a bisexual'.

Guy 1: And she called me Brendan!
Guy 2: Haha that's funny!
Guy 3: It's funny, because your name is Brian!
Guy 1 & 2: Thanks Ted.

by TotallyAwesomeIndividual October 5, 2009

Ted

extremely awesome, a really cool kid, is definetly not gay, probably has lots of friends, and all the chicks like him

Ted is really pimpalicious

by ted the greatest October 17, 2008

Ted

A giant shit that's been brewing in your bowls all day long.

"I have to go take a giant Ted Teddy."

by Soapbox69 May 13, 2010