1. A condition whereby any metropolitan area has its crime statistics exponentially increased or embellished by a person whose residence has fallen outside said area for at least three-quarters of their life.

2. Rarely visiting a city because of an irrational fear or stubborn ignorance.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.

The condition in which one is so bored of their seemingly perfect suburban lifestyle to the point where they feel the need to rebel, do bad in school, etc. to fufil their boredom.

A Spoiled rich kid who has no life,that makes drama when they get bored because they have nothing better to do are sufferers of Suburbanitis.

-Noun

acute or chronic inflammation of the desire to keep up with the “Joneses”, caused by dual income heterosexual marriages, irrational desires to live in a poorly built and unoriginal home while acquiring as much debt as possible, or exposure to the “real” world including poverty and violence