A regular Facebook user who specializes in making statuses that get a ton of likes. This person spends at least 1 hour per day thinking of, and producing, multiple "witty" or "cute" Facebook statuses in order to get the satisfaction of 20 or more likes. After a while, the Statustician begins to accumulate regular "likers" - people who will like the status no matter what it is about. In addition, the statustician will "like" every positive comment on their status and delete any negative ones.

Noun: a friend who is usually only called upon by a friend when a more primary/prominent friend is unavailable.

Taken from the term “second string” in an athletic competition situation. In football, if the star quarterback gets injured during a play, the second string is called off the bench to replace him/her. A “Second String Friend” is essentially benched until needed, if ever.

Synonyms: Plan B, Second Choice, Secondary Friend, Benched Until Needed

Someone whose Facebook (or other site) status is updated more times than he or she blinks every day. This person's status is always on your news feed.

A person skilled in statusry.
Characterized by their postage of insightful, helpful, or valuable status updates on facebook.

one who is concerned about their status

An expert in or compiler of status updates

definer of the status quo a.k.a. relationship labeler