The year is 1997, I’m 10 years old and obsessed with Starfox 64. I have an N64, but money is tight and my birthday is months away leaving me no choice but to continue to accompany mom to Wal-Mart so I can play the demo game in the electronics department. She would tell me to meet her at the checkout in 20 minutes, but once I hit the start button, time turned into some arbitrary construct worthy only of being ignored. I was frequently shaken out of my Starfox stupor 3/4th of the way through the story-line to an angry mom and a nasty case of Starfox Neck. Come June, I received my own copy of Starfox 64 and the condition was never experienced again.

I still play StarFox 64 on occasion and it remains one of my favorite games. I have medal’d every level, but accomplished little else worthy of note in my life.

I've been jabbed