A technique used by the morbidly obese at the titty-bar. The fatty stands against the bar during a 'lap-dance' in order to get his junk rubbed against by the stripper. A normal sitting lap-dance causes said fatty's gut to protrude over their penis and block any possible groin stimulation, ending in frustration and a waste of money. This technique has been witnessed anywhere there are fat guys and strippers in the same room.

the act of texting people while you are pooping