Top definition
A term widely used in the corporate environment usually by management or workers aspiring to be managers without any intelligence or sense of how stupid they sound.
Stakeholders is a term that usually accompanies other corporate buzz words such as "bandwidth', "paradigm", and "circle back". You generally will not hear words like "stakeholder" in social situations outside of work, yet for some reason, people feel compelled to use them at work just to increase their level of annoyance and stupidity.
Stakeholders is a term that usually accompanies other corporate buzz words such as "bandwidth', "paradigm", and "circle back". You generally will not hear words like "stakeholder" in social situations outside of work, yet for some reason, people feel compelled to use them at work just to increase their level of annoyance and stupidity.
Boss: Fred, when you get some bandwidth this morning, lets circle back and address the stakeholders of this project.
Fred: Shut the fuck up and quit acting like an idiot.
Boss: We must address the paradigm of your work ethic.
Fred: Shut the fuck up and quit acting like an idiot.
Boss: We must address the paradigm of your work ethic.
by Mr Hi October 03, 2011
2
Term used by an unelected government authority to describe Wall Street investment banks, and community members that are invested in the outcome of a public works project by the mere virtue of their privileged sociological status.
NOTE: The term stakeholders is NEVER inclusive of the poor people most-impacted by the decisions of the specific unelected authority, and are most always subject to bear the heaviest burden of said decisions in the form of tolls, taxes, if not death.
NOTE: The term stakeholders is NEVER inclusive of the poor people most-impacted by the decisions of the specific unelected authority, and are most always subject to bear the heaviest burden of said decisions in the form of tolls, taxes, if not death.
Dude, whoa. The Clinton years are over. You can't reference 'community members' in that mission statement. It's stakeholders' now.
The Louisville and Southern Indiana Bridges Authority wants their project to create a tremendous amount of opportunities for all their stakeholders.
The Louisville and Southern Indiana Bridges Authority wants their project to create a tremendous amount of opportunities for all their stakeholders.
by curtster December 25, 2010
3
Meaningless term used in meetings by powerful bureaucrats to subdue dissenters while gaining respect, cooperation, and sympathy from sheeple. The word performs multiple functions at once: 1) it conveys a farcical title upon attendant sheeple, giving them a false sense of self-importance for which they feel thankful to the bureaucrat; 2) it conveys a false sense of empathy, causing attendant sheeple to view the bureaucrat favorably; 3) it gives the bureaucrat the appearance of magnanimity, which in turn makes the bureaucrat seem reasonable and dissenters unreasonable.
Example: School Board Meeting:
Dissenter: Mr. Bureaucrat, how is it possible that our children remain illiterate despite their having attended our district schools for 13 years?
Bureaucrat: Mr. Dissenter, all of us in this room are stakeholders in our wonderful district that is filled with hardworking, selfless teachers and administrators; your undue criticism is damaging all of us.
Dissenter: Mr. Bureaucrat, how is it possible that our children remain illiterate despite their having attended our district schools for 13 years?
Bureaucrat: Mr. Dissenter, all of us in this room are stakeholders in our wonderful district that is filled with hardworking, selfless teachers and administrators; your undue criticism is damaging all of us.
by TwinCityBoy February 20, 2021