A guard to make sure you don't get your mouth deformed.

A device that protects our world from the fiendish evil also known as the Spoon. It kind of looks like a bungee cord with little hooks on the ends.

A device that protects humans from the horrible illnesses caused by spoons.

heres an abbreviated comment form the source of the page containing Spoonguard:

SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE SPOON MENACE THIS KITTEN WAS EXPOSED TO SPOONS! PROTECT YOURSELF WITH SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! THIS IS LITTLE KIRSTY CHEESE SHE WAS EXPOSED TO SPOONS FOR ONLY 30 SECONDS AND NOW SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! LITTLE DAVEY PANTS WAS EXPOSED TO SPOONS FOR OVER A MINUTE!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! BUY!!!!! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! La La La La La La, La La La La La La SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! SPOOOOOOOOOOON GUAAAAAAAAAAARD! For Happy Kittens! Joel Veitch rathergood.com

a long bungie rope type thing that you hook to your cutlery draws to stop evil spoon from infecting you!!!!

A very very ugly person, one who looks like those featured in the Spoonguard video.

-One who has a guard on their spoon.
-In ancient form it was a cat found on a giant wooden spoon.
-Often used to keep random objects from entering one's rectum.