Spontaneous Erection Syndrome, sometimes called SES, is a disease that most men suffer from. It is a disease where a man will spontaneously get an erection, while not aroused.

SES usually occurs in a situation where the sufferer could either become embarrassed, or possibly look homosexual.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.