So named for its resemblance to a traditional Vulcan greeting and the Starfleet officer who made it famous, the Spocker is a variation of the fingering technique most commonly referred to as “The Shocker.” As with its 3-fingered counterpart, the Spocker necessitates the insertion of the index and middle fingers into a woman’s vaginal opening. It is here, however, where the similarities end. Whereas the shocker would call for the insertion into the anus of the pinky finger only, the Spocker requires the interjection of both the pinky and ring fingers. It is the resulting “V” shaped finger spread that contributes so heavily to the technique’s moniker. Then the joystick is using your thumb to rub the clitoris at the same time.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods