When you intentionally rub your backpack on a nearby stranger's genitals in an effort to sexually arouse them.

When a wife covers her own ass by claiming her husband's incompetence or unwillingness resulted in failure or error when the actual root cause was her own inability or unwillingness to communicate clearly or effectively.

A dressed and split chicken for roasting or broiling on a spit

reddening of the penis after beating off with a spatula

The act of a (flexible) person with both breasts and a penis giving themselves a titwank.

the act of using one's penis to flip eggs off a partner's vagina

To masturbate so aggressively that you cause harm.