So you hooked up with Jessica last night... Were her tits sweet little handfuls or old lady softeners?

Dude, you see those fat asses? They a bunch of softeners..

My boss is so hot, I have to keep a picture of mom on my desk as a softener.

"soften time"

A water softener converts hard water, through ion exchange, into soft water. Soft water is mainly used in closed piping systems, such as heating and air-conditioning systems, to inhibit the formation of scale. Hard water, or simply tap water, is not to be confused with heavy water, which is mainly used in nuclear reactors!

Dude, i'm freezing my balls off in here. Doesn't this car have stool softeners?

"Dude, my ass is falling asleep. Hand me a stool softener."