A middle-aged, middle-upper class woman who generally drives an SUV, a minivan or a station wagon (the latter of which is rarely seen in this era), and lives in a suburban area such as Parsippany, New Jersey, my hometown. They believe that their children are the most important things in the world, and refuse to let them listen to any music other than Top 40 radio, play any violent video games, or let them watch TV without them nearby, as any of these could supposedly corrupt their fragile minds. They are generally members of the local PTA, and have their kids participate in as many after-school programs as possible, so they could have themselves some "me" time. They usually put soccer ball stickers on their bumpers, tailgates, or gas caps, and are especially notorious for popularizing the infamous "honor student" bumper stickers. Soccer moms are usually homemakers, especially if they have young children, and live of the income generated by their well-paid husbands.

A soccer mom is a mom that lives in the suburbs,usually a homemaker,middle class or middle high class from the ages from 30-50 that have children.A soccer mom transport all her kids and everyone elses kids in either a minivan,sherman tank suv or a stationwagon.A soccer mom thinks her kids are angels when in reality the kids are a bunch of spoiled brat devils.A soccer mom life is very uniformed and want to keep up with the jones.When see a soccer mom by herself in her mini van or sherman tank suv means all the kids have been dropped off all school events.A soccer mom hang out paradise is a mall and spend tons of money on over price clothes for herself and the kids.May go for an overprice coffee.A cell phone is a soccer mom best friend to avoid those quiet moments to shoot the gossup with all rest of the soccer mom clan.A soccer mom version of dinner for the kids is go to mcdonalds and get the kids a happy meal.The type of music that a soccer mom will play for the kids is music from radio disney because it sound so wholesome.It is music for the whole family.A soccermom is an obsessed christian thinking if it isnt christian it is evil.Alot of soccer mom join organizations MAHR,PMRC,ESRP or some censorship group to think they are going to change the world and make it wholesome.A soccer mom doesn't believe in being an individual.A soccer mom want to become part of a bandwagon.A soccer lives a lifestyle being molded and sculpted on what society want her to be.

A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.

Generally speaking, a soccer mom is an upper middle class white woman from the suburbs. But soccer moms can be divided into two categories:
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.

Fat ass middle-age bitch whose whole life revolves around her children. Drives a mini-van or large SUV due to multiple children. Usually puts stickers on the back car window saying things such as, "Ashley #10 Soccer." Their day consists of:
-Wake up & pack lunches for kids (No sweets, pop, or anything unhealthy)
-Make sure the kids eat a nutritional breakfast
-Review the kids outfits
-Drive them to school
-Clean
-Pick them up from school
-Take ___ to soccer, ___ to ballet, and ___ to bible study.
-Pick all the kids up and get them all happy meals from McDonald's.
-Tells kids to start getting ready for bed, because it is already 7 PM
-Has very unpleasant sex with their apathetic husbands once kids are fast asleep

Commonly enjoys wearing knit sweaters with high water jeans. Usually have cheesy knick-knacks in their home, such as plates hung on the wall that say things like, "Hope" "Faith" "Believe" etc. Their children are extremely shielded from the real world, not being allowed to watch anything with bad language or sexual references. Can only watch PG-13 movies once they actually turn 13. Must be approved by the soccer mom first. Can't buy music, watch TV, hang out with friends, or anything without approval from their soccer mom first. They install V-Chips and/or parental controls on 3/4 of the TV channels. This leaves educational channels, which they usually end up blocking because of real life content. Ex. The History Channel, The Animal Planet. Usually pushes their hopes and dreams on their kids and forces them to follow them, which ends up failing epically. Their kids are so sheltered and forced to give up their individuality, which results in corruption. Their "perfect little angels" are usually hoes, sluts, bitches, potheads, drug users, drunks, or just all around bad kids behind their back. Heavy denial is involved at this point. Soccer moms are strictly christian, anything that doesn't have to do with it is the "devil's work." Soccer moms are constantly seen glaring at teenagers who curse or are "rowdy" in any sort of way. Tries to tell teens, who are complete strangers, what they can and can't do.

moms that drive mini-vans, all they care about is their kids, if their kids aren't playing enough in a sports game she will most definitely be yelling at the coach from the stands. She is very involved with the school, always doing snack day and carpooling. And she's annoying to everyone else but her best friend, who is also a soccer mom.

Any parent (most commonly female) who seeks to impose their ethical and moral standards upon the rest of the world, justifying the suppression of all other views by claiming it is for the protection of their children. Soccer moms believe that they are all great parents, despite their inability or unwillingness to take responsibility for their children.

Soccer moms are responsible for almost every act of censorship, and almost every frivolous safety "feature" or warning label seen on products today. Movies and games that contain strong language, graphic violence, strong language, or references to the occult are banned on behalf of soccer moms, because they cannot be bothered to pay attention to what their children are watching or playing. They are the reason that the rear windows of certain vehicles, the Ford Taurus for example, can only be rolled down approximately 12 inches (or .3 meters), and there is no option to allow you to disable this "safety feature." They are the reason that bags of peanuts say "Warning: May contain nuts." That's intelligent.

Soccer moms are also a major contributing factor to the gas price hike that America has experienced in recent years. They attempt to stand out and look "rugged" by driving SUVs. They do not realize that an SUV is not an economy car. It is large, it is ponderous, and it takes a good deal of distance to come to a stop. It is designed to be abused like no other vehicle, by towing trailers, hauling heavy cargo, and driving off road. Instead, they have been converted to child haulers and grocery getters. They consume twice as much gas as a station wagon, which would perform the same tasks admirably. Soccer moms dismiss the fuel consumption with the excuse "If I can afford the gas, why should you care?" This demonstrates their absolute lack of economic knowledge, as it shows that they are completely ignorant of one of the most basic economic concepts: supply and demand. They use more gasoline, but the same amount is refined. The result is higher gas prices for all.

So, to summarize, they cause high gas prices, needless censorship, inconvenient "safety features," numerous traffic accidents, and an entire generation of their spawn ("rebellious" youth who are angst ridden and void of any and all responsibility and morality).

I hope this shows, conclusively, that soccer moms are the scourge of this land, and the movement must be eliminated at all costs.