Smeg scorpions are tiny scorpions which live inside your foreskin and feast on excess smeg. They are impossible to remove as they crawl into the deep recesses of your foreskin, but that's what you get for smegging faggot! To appease the scorpions you must masturbate at least 5 times a day otherwise they will get mad and sting the meaty bit within your foreskin. And trust me.. this hurts! By the way circumcised people CAN get them too... gutted.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods