Person A: "I'm a beautiful friend, so friend don't hate me. Maybe if you get rid of that old Yeah butt haircut, you'll get some complaints on the yo-yo dick. Oh, and even better, Tanisha will call your dog's ass if she stops having sex with the brain surgeon or lawyer she's having sex with. friend"

Person B: " Sir, this is a Wendy's. "

phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz

Sam: I like math

Billy the douchebag: Math isn't just a thing you like. It's a philosophy. It's meant to evaluate logical statements, after all what are mathematical signs but functions of logic. It's called logicism. To really understand it you'd have to read Leibnitz and even Kant to get a full view of the logical empiricism as it relates to morality, ethics, and even abstract ideas.

Sam *rolling his eyes*: Sir, this is a Wendy's

Sam's boys: OHHHHHHHHH!!!! FUCKIN PWNED

Sam: I'm not a rapper.

Billy the douchebag: Runs away humiliated.