Currently sparking massive online debate is the image (in accordance with rule 34) of Alvin, Theodore, and Simon receiving head. The question poses who receives the best head, which shouldn’t even be a question because it is clearly Simon. Being a nerd doesn’t make him a Virgin, in fact, he’s tall, handsome, and smart. He knows the ins and outs of every sexual position. Simon, with his legs in the air, can barely withhold the head is he receiving. He is also the chipmunk who gives the best dick. The term “Simonists” has now become synonymous with “intellectual” or “200 IQ+” individuals.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.

Stemming from a Rule 34 image featuring Alvin and the Chipmunks receiving head from their respective Chippette, a Simonist refers to one who believes that Simon is the Chipmunk Receiving the Best Head. Unfortunately, this is incorrect as Simon is not Receiving the Best Head, and therefore the term has become synonymous with “retard”.