The New York Observer describes a “shmomosexual” as a “Joe Shmo” kind of guy — only gay — who’s a little too smart, dresses sloppy and is utterly untelegenic.

Joe Shmo: someone so asinine, ridiculous and absurd their mere presence bothers anyone in the room. (The Urban Dictionary)

Telegenic: Having a physical appearance and exhibiting personal qualities that are deemed highly appealing to television viewers.

A polite term for shoving a lubricated probe into the Earth's hole to release gas.