Acute scottsdalis nasopharyngitis, usually known as the Scottsdale Cold, is a highly contagious, societal infectious condition of the respiratory system, primarily caused by Methylbenzoylecgonine or as it is usually known, cocaine.

A Scottsdale Cold will usually manifest itself after the weekend, generally when one is returning to work. Common symptoms of the Scottsdale Cold are runny nose, nasal congestion, sore throat, fatigue, malaise, and especially, loss of appetite.

The symptoms of a Scottsdale Cold usually resolve after about one week, but with prolonged use, can last up to months, even years.

With no cure in sight, the annual cumulative societal cost of the Scottsdale Cold in the United States is billions of dollars.

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