Yo, bro pass me the scizzy so I can weigh this sack out

Dude, I was so unhappy about my girl, until I spoke to my serotonin donor who really helped me feel better

"He'd be well phitt if his hair touched some scizzies, innit?"

and for you americans, THAT would mean:
"He'd be really hot if his hair got cut with some scizzies, ain't that right cowboy?"
Hah, jokes about the cowboy babes. But above is true.