The Scandinavian Coffee Bath is the preferred method of caffeine consumption for millions of Scandinavians. A proper bath involves finely ground coffee beans, a funnel and one cup of lukewarm distilled water for every heaping tablespoon of grinds. Consumers merely need to funnel grinds into their anus and chase slowly with water. Sitting with your anus elevated, pointing your toes to the sky and gently thrusting upwards will brew the coffee directly into your rectum, causing a slight caffeine buzz beginning in your rectum and ending in your brain.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods