I'd have anal sex with you but your Scalia is too painful to bear

"Eww, you have Scalia on your genitals."

The coroner literally had to peel the underwear off the ass of the corpse on account of the huge pungent scalia acting as an adhesive agent between the underwear’s material and Justice Scalia’s ass. The coroner’s report read that, some time ago, “a well-endowed beast must have pounded Justice Scalia’s ass and left behind a sticky gooey santorum that gelled up over a considerable amount of time. I’m going to barf.” Like the corpse, the underwear were unrevivable. (The coroner quit her job that day.)