n. The name given to anyone by the name of Patrick after he has become intoxicated if, and only if, his intoxication causes him to become overly eccentric, overly confident, sanguine, vociferous, irritable, and, most importantly, sassy. In other words, when the Patrick in question is drunk he becomes a completely different person and, therefore, deserves a name that better suits him for the occasion.

Someone people turn to when they're sad who makes them feel better.