A sweets goon is generally anorexic due to the high intake of budget cola and low grade confectionary. A sweets goon generally appears much older than in reality due to stress of wanting sweets 24/7. Sweets goons generally avoid schools because hanging around offering crap bon-bons or mishaped chocolate bars is a bad look. It is not uncommon to see a sweets goon being ejected from premises for apparent drug abuse whilst screaming "its only a sherbet dib dab!!" . Sweets goons generally have terrible fashion sense and dress like bertie bassett on heroin. Sweets goons often resort to petty squabbling over the last werthers original or begging for a pound coin to get 3 packets of buzz.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods