Suck On My Cock.
Used when bragging for any reason, OR when telling people what they should do.

Over-The-Pants-Hand-Job. Distant cousin of the dry hump.

SOMC, which when expressed in a grammatically correct way would read "Shit on my chest" is a particular expression used to describe frustration. In Australian slang, it is a phrase used on a daily basis to emphasise importance of comment. For example, if one cannot get an electronic device to work properly, one might exclaim "Shit on my chest!", meaning that you are so upset with the device you prefer someone could shit on your chest instead dealing with the situation.

Spitting on My Computer Screen

Shit on my cock

Shit On My Chest (a sexual paraphilia for diehards and fetishists)

Still On My Chair. SOMC is an antoynm of ROTFLMAO.