The process of smearing the faecal matter of another, so it covers the anus and buttocks, then proceeding to frantically rub one's face in the thick layer of the shit. The aim is to transfer as much of the shit onto one's face as possible, then proceeding to delicately wash off the shit in front of a mirror, leaving only big, bushy eyebrows and a thick mustache forged out of the pure shit of another being. The result will bear a striking resemblance to Rudyard Kipling.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.