The state in being so insecure with yourself; that your confidant you will find a way to mess it up/have an awareness that you need to be vigilant about messing it up..

n. The birth name of somebody who has changed their name. Most commonly attributed to trans people, but can be attributed to any person who has changed their name. (sometimes written as two words: dead name)

v. 1. To call somebody by their deadname.
v. 2. To out somebody's deadname to the public.