The act of sitting on a toilet backwards, so your knees touch the wall behind the toilet, and pushing excrement through the anus, so that it spills down the front of the bowl and stains it really badly.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.