Alex spent the morning surfing in what amounts to raw sewage and he only had 10 minutes to freshen up before his big meeting. While his hair was caked with feces, his clothes damp with the stink of other peoples excrements and his mood stained with the knowledge that he would probably blow the meeting; he took a small measure of comfort in knowing the sweaty smell of his armpits would be addressed by the RESCUE STICK he had put in his glove compartment.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak