A 62-year-old man was referred to us from a nursing home by staff concerned that he had apparently passed a small household (AAA size) battery per urethra. The patient was in pain with difficulty in passing urine. Relevant in his past medical history was that one year previously we had endoscopically removed a pen lid from his bulbar urethra.

An X-ray of his pelvis revealed what appeared to be two dense foreign bodies in his urethra. Urethroscopy revealed two AAA size household batteries lodged in his bulbar urethra. On further questioning at discharge, the patient admitted to inserting three AAA sized batteries into his urethra for sexual gratification during masturbation four weeks earlier. The Doctors decided to call it putting lead in your pencil, the age old euphemism for sexual vigour and erections.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak