Pulling a Johnson is a video game term for completing a multiplayer matchmaking game without earning a single kill against the opposing team.

Players that pull a Johnson help their team in absolutely no way. They only ensure defeat for the team, merciless mockery and a cloud of shame for pulling a Johnson.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

Telling Goebbels style massive lies.

To cancel last minute, like a bitch

AKA pull a Jerrod

Pulling a Johnson is when someone you're dating falls off the face of the earth, and resurfaces as a soul/faith eating douche bag.

Passing out in someones front lawn and being picked up in the morning by animal control